Monday, October 22, 2012

'Scuse Me While I Kiss This Guy

I have always thought misheard song lyrics were funny. Some are universal, like in the Jimmy Henrix song  "Purple Haze". He sings 'Scuse me while I kiss the sky. Folks from all over thought he was expressing a desire to kiss some dude. And in their song "Bad Moon Risin'" , Credence Clearwater Revival were famously thought to have been pointing out that there's a bathroom on the right .   Here is a list of the 100 funniest misheard lyrics, according to a random survey. Most of the misheard lyrics on that list are dumb. Click here for arguably the best misheard song ever.

And then there are the lyrics that you, your friends or family may mishear . When I was student teaching, I had the opportunity to live with my Granny. My cousin Denise was also living there at that time. Denise was getting ready to be married and I was looking forward to college graduation. We, like most young women do when a major life change involving photography and crowds are involved, decided to go on a diet and start an exercise regimen together. We were products of the times, and seeing as it was the mid-eighties, we had in our possession a Jane Fonda Workout video tape. For some reason I didn't understand at the time, our Granny would enjoy coming to the living room to watch us awkwardly roll around on the floor exercise. (It must have been a sight to see; better than television.) Sometimes we would pass on the Jane Fonda and instead play music to do crunches, lunges or whatever half-assed thing we were doing. One time, after a rousing bout of leg lifts to the thumping beat of Eddie Murphy's 'one hit wonder' song, "Party All the Time", our Granny shook her head in shame. She thought that the song was vulgar because instead of hearing my girl likes to party all the time, party all the time, party all the tiiiime, she thought the lyrics were my girl like to POTTY all the time.... That was so funny, and totally changed the way I heard the song from then on. Then there was the time that my Aunt Kathy, caught up in road-to-the-Rose Bowl hype, thought the horrible 80's band Quiet Riot was rocking out an homage to the University of Illinois football team with the song "Cum on Feel the Noize". She thought it was Come on Illinois!. Be sure to enunciate the usually silent "s" in Illinois while singing this one! I am ashamed to admit that for years I would play the Ben Fold's break up anthem, "Song for the Dumped" in front of my kids. I was careful to always turn the volume down when he said the word bitch, but sadly I had misheard the part where he screams the "f" word. You see, I thought he was yelling Well forget you!. He wasn't. It was pointed out to me by Stephen, who was about 10 at the time. He asked me why I made sure to turn down the volume for the "b" word but not the "f" word. Oopsie. More recently, one of Anna's friends belted out the lyrics I am a doodie head in place of I am titanium in this song. You have to admit, you can hear it, especially with a car load of girls singing it that way (loudly) on the way home from ballet class.

Sometimes it is embarrassing to belt out the wrong lyrics, but it is always funny. Almost as funny as listening to your friend sing along to a song while she is wearing headphones and hearing her stumble incoherently across a phrase she isn't sure of. Of course, I have never done that. Ahem.

In my next blog entry, I will tell the story of a book title I mangled in second grade. A misread title, I guess you could call it.

Thank you for reading!


  1. OMG! How HYSTERICAL! I don't know which is funnier: "I'll never leave your pizza burnin'," or "dick with a glove." I laughed out loud!

    I thought Jimmy Buffet was singing "Just another chigger and saw" instead of shaker of salt. I sang it that way for years until the ex-spouse pointed out that a chigger was an insect. And that saws had nothing to do with wastin' away. I was astonished! And embarrassed.

    What a great list. I'm going to pass on the choir link to my choir director, who will probably laugh his butt off!

    Keep 'em coming!

  2. I liked "dick with a glove" too. Chigger and saw?!!! Hilarious!! Thank you for the read and comment! I appreciate it!